Lost my Identity


I am not even sure where to start. I have been ready for something new for a very, very long time. Even though I have two toddlers & deal with constant: diaper duty, potty training, laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, snacks, more snacks, dance lessons, story time, playdates, bedtime routine, nap time routine, sleep regressions, teething, taking them to work with me, getting them dressed, bathed, teeth brushed, nails clipped, and even though I was doing it all alone, I was (for a lack of better words) bored! How is that possible? I know I am not the only Mama feeling this way. (Hubby has been sacrificing much of his time to benefit our family. He works EMS and is also putting a major addition on our house. His time has been so tied up in all of these things. We rarely see him).

After I had my first child I was so lost. I felt like I had to give up everything that made myself me! Everything about me was on the back burner. In the midsts of these thoughts I felt like I was treading water. I completely lost my identity. It was “The Parent Trap”!  After having my first baby, I no longer had my career. I wasn’t at the ballet barre, sweating, and expressing myself. Dance got me through everything, from dealing with everyday drama to death and miscarriages. I was so lost without it.

I was always cheering on other women who were doing their own thing, something different and powerful. It made me incredibly excited for them! Then I looked in the mirror and asked why I couldn’t cheer myself on. I started looking at the women and moms that I look up to. Women on social media, blogs, YouTube, and the ones I know in everyday life (especially my mom and sister). They are all continuing to evolve and educate themselves, while being amazing-badass mothers! I wanted that too. I stopped caring about what other people might think. I was READY.

Naturally, I started listening to women entrepreneur podcasts (Yes. I am officially old). All these empowering women were talking about jumping in and starting your idea. Whatever your niche is, just stick to it and be genuine. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re not going to have a huge following, at first. You are not going to know what the heck you’re doing. But you need to start. “Life’s a dance we learn as we go”! (anyone…?)

I began looking into selling products on social media, but I was terrified to come off as “salesy” or fake. I also had a business plan to open my own business, but it is not the right time. The ideas that were constantly popping in my head had to do with dance and fitness. I stumbled upon teaching Barre Fitness and the more I taught the better I felt. I began to get more & more offers to teach. Then I realized, I found my calling again! Not only did I lose 25lbs of baby weight, but I healed my diastasis recti and had my body back. My confidence is back up, my energy is sky high, and I am happier than ever. I want EVERYONE to feel like this. There’s no better therapy than to blast out to Beyonce and break a good sweat! I want to give people a sense of community, to know that you are not alone in whatever you’re going through! And to tell people it is okay to take care of yourself and love yourself! I also want to spread my knowledge and love for dance.

So, here I am! Back on my blog that I abandoned 3 years ago. I am beyond excited to continue to write in my blog about dance, fitness, easy recipes, and just to connect with other people. I am in the process of starting a Youtube Channel with Barre Fitness classes. So no matter where you are, you can take my class & feel the same amazing benefits. I also teach at local studios & corporate offices. Please, reach out if you have any questions!

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2 Comments

  1. teewright429

    So glad I came across your blog! I can relate to many of your posts and, even though my daughter is about to turn 3, I find that I’m still learning how to just be me AND be a mom. I’m finding that blogging is helpful and hoping to get more into it this year. Anyway, just a rando saying thanks for sharing 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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